Bellevue

So I've been working on this story with the idea of submitting it to the Bellevue Literary Review. That is aiming high, I know, but if I could get published there, god I would be happy. So the story is actually looking pretty good, so I just checked the website for submission guidelines. Lo, to my great dismay, there is a message stating they are not accepting submissions at this time due to a tremendous backlog. All those other writers who were obviously being more prolific, not to mention dedicated, than yours truly, in getting their stuff out there have beat me to the punch.

Woe is me.

But that's just silly. There are any number of other literary publications that I can pursue. It's a roadblock. A small one. I have to admit though that I sometimes find the small roadblocks the most difficult to surmount. Frustrating. But I'll keep working on the story, and looking for other avenues of publication, and checking back at the website to see if the hiatus is lifted.

Trying to Write

I'm trying to write. I'm rusty, and who's fault is that? Mine, I admit it. But I did a little today and I'm trying to get some momentum going. It's like I have to recalibrate my brain to move forward. My brain is like the tin man in the wizard of oz...does anyone have an oil can I can borrow? I'm tempted to find another writing class, online or in person, but I'm afraid that will be nothing more than procrastination to finish what I've started. I will keep at it. I'll try to get here every day, even if just to post this kind of nonsense. Keep the fingers working, keep the writing muscles moving. What was it Annie Lamott said about shitty first drafts? I'll just think of these boring inane posts as shitty first drafts...eventually something good will happen.

Saturday morning

Just checking in, exercising my fingers on the keyboard. I can barely breathe owing to allergies...is this something that happens to women at 49? Overcast and cool outside, crickets still chirping, along with a few birds. Impatiens are bursting with color....nice because they were nearly annihilated by a freak hail storm last month. My hosta did not recover. The big green leaves remain shredded and full of holes.

Today: baseball practice for son #4 and tennis match for son #3. Writing for me, I promise.

It's 2:46 and I haven't written anything today

It's 2:46 and I haven't written anything today...until now. I'm guilting myself into this posting, just showing up, nothing more. What have I been doing between 6:00 a.m. & now? Breakfast...I did spend an inordinate amount of time reading the Wall Street Journal, which we are having delivered to our house on a trial subscription. I love that publication. Great writing, great editorials, full of rational common sense and truth. On Fridays I love the Weekend Journal, which hubby and I refer to affectionately as The Weekender. I love to read what mogul bought which property, I love Joe Morgenstern's movie reviews (although he was missing today...I was stuck reading whoever is subbing for him), I love the editorial page. So yes, that took an hour out of my day.

I went to my exercise class, which keeps me strong and clear-minded. I can't miss that. The club is changing ownership this weekend so there was much speculation among the ladies about what changes are coming. That took an hour or so.

Shopping. Not clothes shopping or browsing shopping...food shopping. Let's face, we do need to eat. Also had to get a gift for my son's friend who is having a birthday party tonight. It was pouring rain & I got soaked running from point A to point B. That took an hour plus.

I'm rationalizing. I should have been way more productive today on the writing front.

Oh and I made brownies. Not for me. They're for my son's friend's mother, who is having my son over 2 hours before the birthday party for her son so I can take my other son to a tennis tournament. Got that? Don't try to figure it out...the brownies are to say thanks for doing me a favor.

Here I am again

I was busy today but I did spend about a half hour on my Belleview story. I wrote a draft and last worked on it in May, so mainly I reviewed and made minor revisions. It is better than I remember it but it has structural problems that I'll be working on.

What was I busy with, if there were no offspring here from 7:45-3:00? Let's see....
7:45-8:45 I walked the dog. The offspring most responsible for her is away at college, so the responsibility falls on moi.
8:45-9:15 I paid bills and answered email.
9:15-9:45 I showered and got dressed for yoga. Yes, I shower before going to the gym. I felt all grungy from my dog-walking, and one needs to feel fresh for yoga. At least this one does.
9:45-9:50 I talked to the local handiman, who showed up unannounced to fix the outdoor drier vent. I didn't even know it was broken.
9:50-11:10 I went to the gym & took the yoga class. I fell asleep during the 8 minute meditation at the end. Did I mention that I didn't sleep last night?
11:10-12:50 I made brownies (on the first day of school my boys deserve to come home to a treat...I'm a thoughtful mother if I do say so), ate lunch and worked on the Belleview story.
12:50-3:10 I changed clothes and volunteered at the middle school library, a 2-hour a week gig that is uncompensated but that I enjoy...I love seeing the new kids who've moved up from 5th grade to 6th, all tiny and unsure of what they're supposed to do, and the 8th graders, who are shaving.
3:10-5:30 I went to the farmers market, made a delicious fresh grilled corn & black bean salad, prepared the chicken for dinner, caught up with the boys on their days, cleaned up the kitchen, made an appointment with the allergist. There were other little tasks in there too.
5:30-now I had dinner with hubby & 2 sons, drank a glass of cheap wine from Whole Foods that wasn't half bad (not purchased in Pennsylvania because of our antiquated laws restricting the sale of alcohol...don't get me started.) Did dishes and came here to post something, anything.
Now until bed....in theory I could write some more but in practice I'm tired. Let's face it, I'm 49 years old, I got 4 hours of sleep last night, I'm tired. I wrote this, and I did at least something productive on the writing front. I intend to go to bed obscenely early. Tomorrow I have more time to get something done.
This is excruciatingly dull, I am aware, but it is something, and I'm here, and I intend to return, not next year, not next month, not in a few days...but tomorrow. Count on it.

I'm Still Here

I'm still here, if anyone is wondering. I have neglected my writing over the summer, okay, and even before summer I was neglecting really productive writing. But today is the first day of school, and since son#4 is now in middle school, the house is empty at 7:45 a.m. Halelluia! I am determined to get myself on some kind of schedule that includes several days of writing per week. This should be a little easier now since sons #1 & 2 are away at college most of the time. The house is quieter and I can think!

Goals: progress on the "book". Finish the short story for Belleview Literary Review. Write something for the Writer's Digest short story contest. Write something every day! And this post doesn't count.