What have I got to show for myself?

Can it be that I have not posted even a word since February? Oh, it be, it be. What have I been doing with myself all this time? I haven't finished my alleged book. It sits, sadly neglected, on the floor of my office. I have worked on it a little, adding a word here, deleting a paragraph there, changing the point of view on occasion, moving events back and forth in time. I have unfortunately succumbed to that voice in my head that says I must write something brilliant and perfect right this minute, and if I don't have a brilliant and perfect idea right this minute, I write nada, rien, zilch.

Need....help....writing...muscles...atrophied...must....lift...fingers....must...type...something...anything......

I have been reading the wonderful Belleview Literary Review. I have devoured every word. It is an inspiring publication, and if you haven't read it and can't find it in your local Barnes & Noble, just fork over the subscription money right now ($36 for 3 years...comes out biannually, or maybe quarterly....I don't know but it is worth every penny) and have the mailman bring it to your door. And, in my defense, I have been doing some writing aside from the book, with the delusional goal that perhaps one day that august publication will find me worthy and publish something I have written.

I have been productive in other areas of my life, most notably in the kitchen, where I painted the cabinets, all 25 of them, plus the drawers. This was a rather enormous undertaking that took me two months to finish. We're talking sanding, priming and two coats of paint, plus installing new hardware. I spend about six hours a day in the kitchen, so it's important to have the whole feng shui thing happening in there.

Also I turned 49. That took up much psychic energy. I am not giving up, and I am not hitting myself over the head for the miniscule progress on the book. I'll finish it when I finish it. OK? So stop bugging me.