Notes from suburbia

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sean Hannity in the Burgh

A thoughtful person gave us tickets to see Sean Hannity here in the Burgh this past weekend. And not just any tickets, fourth row VIP tickets. Who wants to sit with the riff-raff anyway? Not me. So being a politically interested sort of gal who resides somewhere on the right side of the spectrum, I accepted the tickets and immediately wondered, naturally, what do I wear? This was described to me as a “meet & greet.” Would there be a chance to chat with Sean (if so I must adopt a look of worldly sophistication), or would it be more like a book-signing, where we all line up like cattle for our nine seconds with a celebrity (in which case who cares how I look?) I went the safe route with black jeans, chic white Banana Republic blouse, sheer but not risqué, black leather jacket (appropriately weathered yet sufficiently stylish) and finished the ensemble with what my son might call my “sassy black lady” shoes: funky heeled pumps, reptile, in multi-hues of pink, purple, green & blue. These shoes are so cool that the lady screening my luggage at the airport once retrieved one from my suitcase and exclaimed, “Nice shoes!” (Alas, gentle reader, I would live to regret my choice of footwear this day.)

Now let me just say right now that although I’m a registered republican, my political philosophy is more along the lines of “just leave me the f*** alone and I’ll be responsible for my own decisions.” Judging from the crowd, I felt like a flaming liberal.

The event was held at the fancy new convention center, which I must say has been a dazzling addition to the Pittsburgh skyline. No parking available (a perennial Pittsburgh problem) so there was a lot of walking right off the bat. Ouch, my toes! We picked up the tickets at the VIP table and were given special index-card size badges to wear around our necks identifying us as VIPs, and proceeded directly to the front of the cavernous venue, already filled with believers comfortably seated on folding chairs. Because we were special, we could claim our seats in front of the rope near the stage. In Row 4!

Since I was so obsessed with my own attire, naturally I was interested in how other people approached the dressing conundrum. Jeans was clearly the order of the day, and in most cases, not nice ones. Faded, ripped, torn and worn. Is this the American way? In front of us, someone donned a T-shirt emblazoned with the words “In Memory of President Ronald Reagan.” Gee thanks for reminding me. I thought he was still alive and still president. Next to him, a short stocky fellow wearing a NASCAR jacket with “Army” embroidered in big gold letters across the front, back and sleeves. My husband tells me the Army sponsors a driver but I couldn’t detect any particular driver’s name. Just lots of patriotic military symbols. Interesting, thought I. I didn't realize the NASCAR voting block was so prevalent in these parts. Sitting straight and tall and looking positively enrapt in the front row (center, in fact. This guy must have connections! Either that or he forked out the hundred bucks for the VIP seating, and maybe a little something extra to score that front row seat instead of one like ours, in the lowly fourth row) was a 20-something man wearing a vest covered front, back and sides with buttons with people’s faces on them. Completely covered. He was making a statement, surely, but I couldn’t get close enough to discern the message. Behind him was a lady decked out in red, white & blue, with big dangly heart-shaped earrings in a stars and stripes motif with blinking red lights. They must have had teeny tiny batteries. And naturally there were a large number of people attired in Steelers garb and waving Terrible Towels because, I guess, what could be more patriotic than football? I was soon to learn these folks were showing their support for Lynn Swann, the former Steelers hero who has announced his candidacy for governor and was slated to speak before Sean. Either that or Steelers garb is their usual attire. Which might be a more likely scenario now that I think about it.

To start things off we were treated to live country/bluegrass music by a local band called “Ruff Creek.” Because country music is patriotic. I don’t know why, it just is. I wondered what sort of music is played in liberal venues. Marilyn Manson? White Snake? Ruff Creek was terrific and I would see them again, if they ever appear in the suburbs. Then we realized the next hour or so would be devoted to Quinn & Rose, local right wing talk radio personalities. And I use the term “personalities” loosely. They are the kind of people who give talk radio, and conservatives generally, a bad name. They shout, they call people names, they speak with righteous indignation about topics on which they really have no authority. They’re freakin’ DJs for god sake. The audience responds to right wing horse shit, so that’s what they deliver. If the audience responded to left wing horse shit I don’t doubt they’d deliver that instead. So we left to grab some lunch and wound up walking at least ten blocks to find a decent place that was open. Ouch, my feet!! But it was fun nonetheless because I love having lunch with my hubby, blisters on my toes notwithstanding.

When we returned, “Quinn” was still speaking. He was all happy that South Dakota just passed sweeping anti-abortion legislation that, among other things, makes it a felony for a doctor to perform an abortion in that state. Any abortion, to hell with the consequences. Oh they did put in an exception for cases that would endanger the life of the mother, I’m sure against their better judgment. Generous. What about cases where the fetus is destined to die within minutes or hours of birth, like the woman I know who discovered, when she was 5 or 6 months pregnant, that her baby had Potter Syndrome? No kidneys. I guess in South Dakota, at least, it’s really important that the woman keep the soon to be dead baby inside her for a few more months and allow it to die a natural (albeit painful and expensive) death AFTER it emerges from the womb instead of before. So much more palatable. And isn’t that what God intended? Never mind. (She went to another state, by the way, and had the abortion.) And this new SD law doesn’t punish the woman who gets the abortion, only the doctor. How patronizing! It’s like they’re thinking “Poor woman, she’s not in her right mind, she can’t be held responsible so we won’t punish her (except to make her give birth even if she was raped/the victim of incest/abandoned by the man/already has nine kids and no money.) Bottom line, the woman makes the decision. If the SD legislature had any guts they would make her bear the consequences. But they have no guts. And no compassion either. I wonder if Quinn thought about any of that when he heaped his praises on the good legislators of South Dakota. In any event, the audience appreciated his remarks and applauded.

As a little aside here, this is something that really irritates me about the Republican party. A big part of their platform has always been less regulation, less taxes, get the government out of private lives. But in the abortion arena, they act like liberals: trust us, we know what’s best. If they continue on that track, they can kiss the senate & house majorities goodbye.

OK enough pontificating. When Quinn was done we were treated to an appearance by Lynn Swann. I’m happy to listen to Lynn Swann (cool name!) because I really really really object to Ed Rendell. He’s a big government liberal tax and spend democrat if ever there was one. In my heart of hearts I think it’s unlikely that Rendell will be defeated (no incumbent governor in PA has EVER been defeated) but I can hope. Lynn Swann looked great and gave a good speech, mostly about all the things he doesn’t like about Rendell, and said, to my pleasure, that he wants to get the government off the backs of businesses and give the power back to the people. This is good. He didn’t make any specific proposals about how he might accomplish this (repealing the capital stock franchise tax or reducing the size of our legislature would be an excellent start) but I’m willing to listen whenever he’s ready to talk.

Rick Santorum, one of our venerable Senators, came out and made a few remarks. What can I say, I just don’t like the guy. It’s that whole righteous indignation thing, plus he looks like Prince Charles. We need representation from western PA though so I’ll probably be stuck voting for him.

At long last, Mr. Sean Hannity arrived on the stage! Maybe I should have mentioned this earlier but I never watch his show and I only hear snippets of his radio program, sometimes, when I’m chauffeuring the kids around after school. I much prefer Rush. But I must say that in person, Sean has charisma! He comes off like your buddy next door, you can trust him, he’s reasonable, the way he puts things, how could anybody disagree? I wanted to stand up and invite the man to dinner, he's so charming. And may I say he’s handsome handsome handsome! Much better looking than on TV. So that didn’t hurt the overall impression. What I took away from his performance was that he’s a great entertainer, knows what to say and how to say it, and he knows his audience. Also nothing on abortion, a wise move. Focused mainly on foreign policy and the hypocritical statements made by democrats on a variety of topics, and we know there’s no shortage of those.

But if Sean asked my opinion about the content of his speech, I would have to tell him (a) I didn’t like all the references to Ted Kennedy’s alcoholism, and (b) stop obsessing about Bill Clinton. Not that I like Ted Kennedy, quite the contrary. But truly the man has led a tragic life, unwanted by his own parents, and it is not right, not noble, not funny to ridicule someone for an alcohol addiction that has caused him so much grief. You can make fun of his political views any time you want, or expose his hypocrisy (like belonging to a club that excludes women at the same time he’s vilifying Sam Alito for an affiliation with a group that opposes affirmative action.) But come on. We’re Republicans. We’re supposed to take the high road. And I know Bill Clinton is an easy target. But he’s not running for any office. He’s “yesterday’s news.” Let’s treat him that way. And let's not continue to dignify him with continued attention.

After he took a few questions from the audience, we were all herded like cattle (Damn! No socializing! So much for a tête a tête with Sean) into a special line that was roped off for special VIPs like us. After a few minutes, the man appeared and shook hands with us, one by one, smiled, asked our names, kindly posed for pictures and signed our VIP passes (think I can sell it on Ebay?) I would have preferred cocktails but Sean was off to Cinci for a tête a tête with Jerry Springer instead.




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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Obscure & Irrelevant but I Must Know!!

Someone please settle this for me. The line "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?" I say it originated with George Jefferson from the sitcom "The Jefferson's"; husband insists it originated with Arnold on "Diff'rent Strokes". I KNOW Arnold used to say that but I say he stole it from George Jefferson, who used it on his hapless neighbor Tom Willis. (Diff'rent Strokes ran from 1978 to 1986. Jeffersons ran from 1975 to 1986.) Why do I care??