Of Computers and Cruise Ships, and Blessings
And today’s lesson, children, is that we must always remember to count our blessings. Let us not allow ourselves to be dismayed by life’s little annoyances when we have so much to be thankful for.
If someone had said this to me yesterday afternoon, I might have responded with something like “Hey, why don’t you lighten up a little, I’m busy trying to get these (insert multiple expletives) surround-sound speakers that I got on ebay to work!” Actually, my teenage son got them on ebay, having convinced me that he had thoroughly researched sound systems and these were the greatest deal to be had anywhere on the planet. Then he wore me down with days, weeks, nay, months, of “Can I get the speakers, Mom? Can I, huh? Can I, can I, huh, huh?” So I confess, I caved. I didn’t even ask why he needed five speakers in his bedroom when I have zero speakers in mine.
Within minutes of connecting the subwoofer that was supposed to deliver superior quality 5.1 surround-sound through the five lightweight mini-speakers, my son determined he had been duped. Only one speaker produced any sound at all; the subwoofer, when it wasn’t buzzing loudly, produced no sound whatsoever. Sometimes, between the pathetic tinny strains that were supposed to pass for music coming from the one speaker that did work, you could hear FM radio over the buzzing noise.
I checked the seller’s feedback on ebay. It wasn’t universally terrible. Maybe the seller wasn’t just an evil demon peddling hyped-up junk to the unwary, as we had begun to suspect. I was willing to consider that perhaps the mistake was on our end. Maybe we connected the wrong wires to the wrong jacks. I emailed the seller, who emailed back that I should check the sound card. “Hmmmm, the sound card,” I thought, “I’ve heard of those.” So I got on a live chat with the computer manufacturer to see if they could provide any information on the sound card.
Let me just say this: while the tech support was polite, not openly deriding me for asking about the sound card instead of the more technically-savvy “audio card,” the “tech” was clearly lacking from the “support.” I received the following advice from “Erica”: try plugging your speakers into the phone jack on the back of the computer (can’t be done.) From “Henry”: try downloading new drivers for the card (not humanly possible). From “Debra”: try resetting your BIOS. My what? I managed to follow her directions, with no results. Then we were back to “Erica” again but before she could tell me to click my heels together three times and say “There’s nothing like surround-sound, there’s nothing like surround-sound, there’s nothing like surround-sound,” I lost my internet connection. So much for tech support.
This whole episode lasted about three hours and by dinner time I was swearing a blue streak and it was time to start chauffeuring the kids around to their various activities, which are all mysteriously scheduled the one day of the week that my husband is always out of town. One more of life’s little annoyances but I don’t complain since he is just trying to provide us with food and shelter.
When I returned home at about 8:15, thinking about how good a sledgehammer would look protruding from the computer monitor, my son Noah met me at the door.
“Grandpa called,” he said. “Something happened on their cruise and a bunch of people were killed. He called to say if you see it on the news, don’t worry, they’re okay.”
What? Noah didn’t have any more information than that. I had no way of contacting my in-laws, who were in Chile on the Celebrity Millennium cruise ship. They had been excited about the trip, an exotic 14-day tour up the coast of South America, through Panama, ending at Fort Lauderdale, not far from their home in Boca Raton. Was it a terrorist attack of some kind? I’ve heard of pirates attacking ships at sea. An on-board explosion? I could not even guess.
Forgetting my earlier fantasies of tossing my computer out the second story window, I raced upstairs and got on the internet. I quickly learned that a bus carrying tourists from the Celebrity Millennium had plunged over a mountain cliff, killing at least twelve passengers and severely injuring the rest. If my father-in-law called, I reasoned, they weren’t on the bus. They were not killed, not injured, not in any danger. I breathed a sigh of relief for my family, even as my heart began to ache for the survivors of those killed. Surely they were someone’s parents, in-laws, grandparents.
So today when I woke up, I didn’t bother with the speakers. I didn’t complain when my knees hurt as I crawled out of bed. I greeted the plumber warmly when he arrived to unclog the drains. I smiled when I saw gargantuan piles of clothes and college brochures littering my son’s bedroom floor. I listened to the birds singing as I walked my youngest child to school, holding hands, barely noticing the lack of sun.
Life’s too short, I thought. And thus today’s lesson. I have many blessings to be thankful for, and today I shall count them, one by one, starting with my in-laws. Without them I wouldn’t have my husband, and thus my son. Who by the way asked me today if he can get a new car. An Alfa GTV6 he found on ebay. He says he researched it. And for that I am also thankful.
If someone had said this to me yesterday afternoon, I might have responded with something like “Hey, why don’t you lighten up a little, I’m busy trying to get these (insert multiple expletives) surround-sound speakers that I got on ebay to work!” Actually, my teenage son got them on ebay, having convinced me that he had thoroughly researched sound systems and these were the greatest deal to be had anywhere on the planet. Then he wore me down with days, weeks, nay, months, of “Can I get the speakers, Mom? Can I, huh? Can I, can I, huh, huh?” So I confess, I caved. I didn’t even ask why he needed five speakers in his bedroom when I have zero speakers in mine.
Within minutes of connecting the subwoofer that was supposed to deliver superior quality 5.1 surround-sound through the five lightweight mini-speakers, my son determined he had been duped. Only one speaker produced any sound at all; the subwoofer, when it wasn’t buzzing loudly, produced no sound whatsoever. Sometimes, between the pathetic tinny strains that were supposed to pass for music coming from the one speaker that did work, you could hear FM radio over the buzzing noise.
I checked the seller’s feedback on ebay. It wasn’t universally terrible. Maybe the seller wasn’t just an evil demon peddling hyped-up junk to the unwary, as we had begun to suspect. I was willing to consider that perhaps the mistake was on our end. Maybe we connected the wrong wires to the wrong jacks. I emailed the seller, who emailed back that I should check the sound card. “Hmmmm, the sound card,” I thought, “I’ve heard of those.” So I got on a live chat with the computer manufacturer to see if they could provide any information on the sound card.
Let me just say this: while the tech support was polite, not openly deriding me for asking about the sound card instead of the more technically-savvy “audio card,” the “tech” was clearly lacking from the “support.” I received the following advice from “Erica”: try plugging your speakers into the phone jack on the back of the computer (can’t be done.) From “Henry”: try downloading new drivers for the card (not humanly possible). From “Debra”: try resetting your BIOS. My what? I managed to follow her directions, with no results. Then we were back to “Erica” again but before she could tell me to click my heels together three times and say “There’s nothing like surround-sound, there’s nothing like surround-sound, there’s nothing like surround-sound,” I lost my internet connection. So much for tech support.
This whole episode lasted about three hours and by dinner time I was swearing a blue streak and it was time to start chauffeuring the kids around to their various activities, which are all mysteriously scheduled the one day of the week that my husband is always out of town. One more of life’s little annoyances but I don’t complain since he is just trying to provide us with food and shelter.
When I returned home at about 8:15, thinking about how good a sledgehammer would look protruding from the computer monitor, my son Noah met me at the door.
“Grandpa called,” he said. “Something happened on their cruise and a bunch of people were killed. He called to say if you see it on the news, don’t worry, they’re okay.”
What? Noah didn’t have any more information than that. I had no way of contacting my in-laws, who were in Chile on the Celebrity Millennium cruise ship. They had been excited about the trip, an exotic 14-day tour up the coast of South America, through Panama, ending at Fort Lauderdale, not far from their home in Boca Raton. Was it a terrorist attack of some kind? I’ve heard of pirates attacking ships at sea. An on-board explosion? I could not even guess.
Forgetting my earlier fantasies of tossing my computer out the second story window, I raced upstairs and got on the internet. I quickly learned that a bus carrying tourists from the Celebrity Millennium had plunged over a mountain cliff, killing at least twelve passengers and severely injuring the rest. If my father-in-law called, I reasoned, they weren’t on the bus. They were not killed, not injured, not in any danger. I breathed a sigh of relief for my family, even as my heart began to ache for the survivors of those killed. Surely they were someone’s parents, in-laws, grandparents.
So today when I woke up, I didn’t bother with the speakers. I didn’t complain when my knees hurt as I crawled out of bed. I greeted the plumber warmly when he arrived to unclog the drains. I smiled when I saw gargantuan piles of clothes and college brochures littering my son’s bedroom floor. I listened to the birds singing as I walked my youngest child to school, holding hands, barely noticing the lack of sun.
Life’s too short, I thought. And thus today’s lesson. I have many blessings to be thankful for, and today I shall count them, one by one, starting with my in-laws. Without them I wouldn’t have my husband, and thus my son. Who by the way asked me today if he can get a new car. An Alfa GTV6 he found on ebay. He says he researched it. And for that I am also thankful.
posted by calabresewoman | 3:45 PM
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